Plastic Beach Castle
by Mikael-Macbeth
Summary: Once upon a time there was a very handsome young man named 2D, and he lived in a wondrous and very enchanting place named Plastic Beach Castle...


_Disclaimer: I don't own Gorillaz or anything in here. But I have fun pretending..._

**Author's Note: Wow, it's been a while since I've been here. :I Sorry for vacating, but my computers have been crashing, and it's just been... hectic. I'm in college, which is SUPER, and this was inspired by my British Literature class and (surprisingly) Jane Austen. I hope you enjoy my little humorous parody until I get something more substantial finished. XD Oh, and if you have anything against the Murdoc/2D pairing, I suggest you press the "back" button - though this actually counts as a parody of Murdoc/2D fanfictions as well. But please, fans of the pairing, take no offense - I actually love the pair.**

**Until next time. ;3**

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**Plastic Beach Castle**

**by K. L. Vest**

Once upon a time there was a very handsome young man named 2D, and he lived in a wondrous and very enchanting place named Plastic Beach Castle.

However, despite his being quite handsome and this Castle being quite wondrous and enchanting, both of these were surrounded by a tale of tragedy and woe.

For you see, 2D was locked away in the Plastic Beach Castle by a loathsome tyrant named Murdoc Niccals. This Murdoc Niccals was a very feared pirate who loved being a torment to poor 2D.

The Castle stood in the center of a great ocean in a place that hardly anyone knows about. This way, Murdoc Niccals would be able to make 2D do chores all the day long, and when he was finished, the tyrant pirate would lock him away deep in the underbelly of the Castle, alone, guarded by a fearsome creature.

2D wished ever so much to escape this dreaded fate - but how? He feared he would be forever trapped in this cursed Castle with that scandalous, evil Murdoc Niccals! Every day for him was vile and wicked! His fingers ached and his knees throbbed from all the labor he was forced everyday to undertake! He knew that if he suffered much longer, he would surely die!

So one day, 2D finally drew up plans for his departure from the wicked Plastic Beach Castle. He would escape - even if he would die trying. He sneaked out in the dead of the night, when the tyrant Murdoc was sleeping, and attempted to secure for himself a boat. He would sail away into the night, without Murdoc ever knowing...

BUT SUDDENLY - 2D heard the dreaded voice he had feared would claim his ear! It was the pirate tyrant, Murdoc Niccals! Oh dreaded fate! It appeared he had known of 2D's escape plan and had awaited him at the docks as 2D approached them.

'Spare me,' 2D begged, his voice but a sliver of its true form. 'My life is yours...'

Murdoc Niccals stared down at 2D, who had now gone so far as to beg for his sorry, hideous life.

'Spare YOU? A good for nothing like YOU? Oh, entertain me! Tell me why I should be so kind to a sniveling ingrate you?' Murdoc intoned, kicking 2D in the stomach, causing the other man to elicit a grunt of pain. 2D said nothing. He did not expect Murdoc to be so generous after what he had just attempted...

2D lifted his head and felt a breeze waft through his hair. His eyes met with Murdoc's, and with them, he pleaded to be released of all the agonies that were sure to come. And then the tyrant Murdoc Niccals bent down and grabbed hold of his shirt, drawing him into a hard, wet, unexpected kiss. 2D felt a bold, sinister passion behind it, and it caused him to fall blindly forward into the arms of the man who had bound him inside the castle all this time - but at this moment he did not care about all of that! Nay, he was so enthralled! So invigorated! SO IN LOVE! DESPERATE TO BE TAKEN! TO BE MADE LOVE TO!

And so Murdoc carried him to his bedroom, with its dark velvet curtains and satin draperies, and they made passionate, aching, tender, GOTHICALLY ROMANTIC LOVE for hours on end, as such that Ann Radcliffe would write in exquisite detail! AND OH THE THROES OF PASSION! OH THE WONDERFUL TENDERNESS! OH THE PORTIONS OF EQUAL PLEASURE THAT BELONGED TO EACH OF THE PARTIES INVOLVED! It was a magical experience that was enthralling and deliberate and MORE than tantric! It was an experience to be forever documented by penners such as the Bronte sisters, Matthew Gregory Lewis, or perhaps someone so brave as to undertake such a massive task!

And when they had stopped making love, they made love once more, and then THRICE more! And 2D was so overcome with passion that he fainted amidst it all!

Then 2D woke up and realized he had fallen asleep reading _Northanger Abbey_ and, with distaste, tossed the Gothic parody aside.

"…Son of a bitch."

**THE END.**


End file.
